I Can Only See You (When I Look in My Heart)
by Sanzo Lady
Summary: Zechs thought his life was finally coming together. He had Noin. They had a daughter. There was no war. He was happy. So what could possibly mess it up? Installment XI up.
1. Chapter 1

I Can Only See You (When I Look in My Heart)  
By Vampric Angel Siren Valkyrie  
  
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Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. It'd be nice if I did. I got inspired last night to write this, but I didn't get around to typing it until this morning. The title, somewhat, came from the title of Rena's "friendship" book in Star Ocean 2. I don't own Star Ocean either. The screen names are taken from Norse mythology. Ravens and wolves were two of Ohdinn's symbolic beasts. I don't own Norse mythology either. Well, I own a book about it, but I don't own the ideas or stories.  
  
Warning: There will probably be some language. Major pairing with be Zechs & Noin, but the will be some shounen ai type relationships. This will not turn into a lemon at any time, so don't worry. Okay... Well enjoy.  
  
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SILVERWOLF06: work is so boring, honey  
  
BLACKRAVEN09: i wish i could be there with you  
  
SILVERWOLF06: i wish i could be home with you  
  
BLACKRAVEN09: what do you want for dinner?  
  
SILVERWOLF06: you've been taking care of the baby all day  
  
SILVERWOLF06: i'm making you dinner tonight  
  
BLACKRAVEN09: you are so sweet  
  
SILVERWOLF06: i try  
  
SILVERWOLF06: so, what do you want for dinner?  
  
BLACKRAVEN09: something warm and real  
  
SILVERWOLF06: getting sick of instant microwave lunch?  
  
BLACKRAVEN09: oh yes no more of it i beg of you  
  
SILVERWOLF06: roast beef and gravy it is  
  
BLACKRAVEN09: yummy  
  
SILVERWOLF06: i'll pick up some fresh biscuits on the way home  
  
BLACKRAVEN09: sounds great babe  
  
BLACKRAVEN09: baby's crying g2g  
  
SILVERWOLF06: bye love you  
  
BLACKRAVEN09: love you too  
  
--BLACKRAVEN09 has signed off at 4:54:29 PM--  
  
Zechs signed off his ambiguous instant messaging program. It was nearly five o'clock. He could leave and half past. What to do until then?  
  
His office was so empty with out Noin there. Preventer Fire was currently home on maternity leave. Two months ago Noin and Zechs' daughter, Valkyrie Rayna Marquise, was born. Every one agreed that Valkyrie was the most adorable baby they had ever seen. Valkyrie had blue-grey-violet eyes, a most interesting shade. Her hair was a wispy blonde, but they didn't know if that was for sure.  
  
Zechs' ice blue eyes fell upon the picture he had taken of Noin holding Valkyrie in the hospital. His entire life fell on the existance of those two people. The half hour seemed to drag on forever. Finally the clock on his computer flashed to 5:25 PM. He began to shut down his computer and get his things together. Zechs left the building carrying a manilla folder and his coat slung over his shoulder. Preventer Wind walked past the offices of the other employees. Finally this near hellacious day was through. 


	2. Chapter 2

Heero looked out the office door as Zechs happened to walk by. Once his rival, recently his ally, and now coworker. There was something about Zechs...  
  
The two men were so similar. Sometimes Heero felt that Zechs was the only one that could truly understand him. Heero, out of sheer boredom, pulled up his ambiguous word processing program and began typing a list.  
  
-Me-   
No parents   
Could handle ZERO system   
Saved world   
Quiet, keep to myself   
Expert gunman   
I'm short   
I don't care about my looks   
I blew my gundam   
in to smithereens  
I didn't kill him   
I love him...   
  
-Zechs-  
Parents killed  
Never had problem w/ ZERO system  
Attempted to decimate Earth  
Quiet, keeps to himself  
Good with a gun  
He's tall. Really tall  
He's really big on hygiene  
He rebuilt Wing  
He didn't kill me  
............  
  
He left it at that. He had saved the file as Compare01+06.txt. Heero's prussian blue eyes were locked on that one last line. Heero didn't hear Relena come in.  
  
"Heero, what are you looking at?" Relena asked, curiously trying to peek at Heero's laptop. Heero, startled, quickly closed the file.  
  
"Nothing. I wasn't doing anything." Heero said nervously. He licked his lips trying to think of some thing to say. Heero close his laptop with out shutting it off, grabbed his coat, and left the room. Quite quickly too. Almost in a mad rush.  
  
Relena took Heero's seat and gently lifted the laptop's screen to view. She searched the "Recently Opened Documents" folder. There her vibrant blue eyes searched for any peculiar files. Bingo. Compare01+06.txt. She opened it and read the words, hungry for knowledge. Her mouth gaped open and she put her hand to her lips. Heero loved her brother? How could that be? Zechs was happily engaged to Miss Noin. Zechs and Noin had a daughter.  
  
Relena closed the file, and closed the lap top, leaving the area just as Heero left it. She stood up. Relena decided that Zechs needed to know this. She'd call her brother when she got home.  
  
"... Heero loves Zechs?" Relena said outloud to herself. 


	3. Chapter 3

It was only 5:00 PM, according to the bedside clock. Most people would say it was a little early for "nocturnal behavior", but Duo didn't care. He put his arm around Hilde, who was panting and nearly unconscious. Duo pulled her closer to him, so that their bare skin was touching.  
  
"That was... great... babe," Hilde said meekly. She trace the outline of Duo's muscles on his slender physique with the tip of her finger.  
  
"Yeah," Duo said, distracted, "Sex... Good..."  
  
"Babe? Something wrong?" Hilde asked. She rested her head on Duo's chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath.  
  
"Ahh... No..." Duo lied to his lover. He's lied to her a lot lately. It just seemed like their whole relationship was one big lie. Why end it now? Hilde and Duo were both getting great sex out of it. Duo felt a pang of guilty pleasure. Eventually he'd have to tell Hilde that when they were committing the most intimate bond two people could share, he was fantasizing about some one else. Duo gently pushed Hilde off his chest and sat up. Now seemed a just as fine as any other time to tell her. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and put his feet on the scratchy carpeting. He bent down to retrieve his cotton boxer shorts and pulled them up his legs.  
  
"Hilde, we need to talk." Duo said. His voice serious, laced with pain. Hilde grabbed a oversized t shirt from the end of the bed. She pulled it on over her head and crawled over beside Duo.  
  
"What is it babe?" Hilde asked, putting her arm around Duo's shoulders. Duo held his stomach as guilt ate away at him.  
  
"No Hilde... Listen to me..." Duo said as he pushed Hilde away. He could see the confusion in Hilde's teal-blue eyes. He didn't want to hurt her. But he had to tell her, otherwise it would just cause her even more pain.  
  
"I'm listening, Duo." Hilde told him as she sat next to him on the edge of the soft bed.  
  
"I... I don't think I love you... I mean... I love you but I'm not in love with you. When we have sex, I'm not thinking of you." Duo was honest with her. His heart pounded and his stomach hurt. But he had been honest. Hilde was crying now. She didn't look sad. She looked angry.  
  
"So I don't please you anymore?" Hilde shouted, "So who is your fantasy woman? Some model out of the Victoria's Secret catalog?"  
  
The other residents of the apartment building, if they were home, surely heard the couple fighting. Duo felt tears forming in he violet eyes. He thought this was going to hurt Hilde. Why was this hurting him?  
  
"No, Hilde," Duo said, his voice remorseful, "It's not a model... Or a woman."  
  
Hilde's rage filled eyes narrowed at Duo. Her voice was silent in anger. She merely mouthed the words to him. "You're gay?" It him as hard as it did her. The tears fell from his eyes.  
  
"Yes?!? Is that what you want to hear, Hilde?" Duo cried to her.  
  
"Who is it?" Hilde demanded. Her eyes were cold. Duo could tell that she was trying to restrain either tears or the urge to strike Duo.  
  
"Zechs. It's Zechs Marquise..." Duo said, his voice no louder than a whisper. Duo cried into his hands. He could hear Hilde gathering up her clothes, then leaving Duo alone. Alone. That's how he felt. Hilde was gone now. He had no one. Duo buried his face in his pillow and cried. 


	4. Chapter 4

Noin had finally gotten their daughter to sleep, when the phone rang. Lucretia answered it quickly, so that it would not wake Valkyrie. Already, like her father, the baby was cranky when awoken.  
  
"Hello?" Noin answered.  
  
"Hi Miss Noin," Relena greeted her, "Or should I say, Mrs. Soon-to-be-Marquise?"  
  
"Yes," Noin laughed, grinning, "So Relena, how can I help you?"  
  
"Well, I need to speak with my brother. It's quite urgent," Relena told Noin. Lucretia acknowledged and gave to phone to Zechs.  
  
"Zechs?" Relena asked.  
  
"Relena?" he joked back. He let out a small grunt as he lifted the roast beef out of the oven. He set it on the counter and continued preparing dinner for himself and Noin.  
  
"Zechs, I was reading a file on Heero's laptop today," Relena said, but got interrupted.  
  
"You said you'd stop going through Heero's belongings." Zechs scolded his sister.  
  
"This was different. He was acting odd. I wanted to see what was causing it." Relena explained. Zechs made a noise of acknowledgement as he poured the pot of lumpy brown gravy into the gravy boat.  
  
"So, what did you learn from your snooping?" Zechs asked.  
  
"Heero holds," Relena was unsure how to tell her brother, "Zechs, Heero loves you."  
  
Zechs' ice blue eyes widened. This wasn't just out of the blue. This was down right heart attack level surprising.  
  
"But... Doesn't he know about..." Zechs stammered, "What about Lucretia and Valkyrie?"  
  
"I don't know. I thought it was overwhelmingly obvious that you loved Miss Noin." Relena found herself consoling her brother.  
  
"I'm sorry you found out from me, dear brother," Relena said sweetly, "And I'm sorry Zechs, but I have to go."  
  
"Alright, Relena," Zechs said, his voice confused, " Thank you for telling me. Have a good night."  
  
Zechs hung up the phone. He set the phone down on the counter, and picked up the roast beef and carried it into the eating area. He was pleasantly surprised that Noin had set the table. He smiled to himself.  
  
"Dinner's ready," Zechs softly called to her. Noin was watching television over in the "living room". She shut off the television and sat down at the dinner table. Zechs brought out the rest of the food. He sat down across from Noin.  
  
"This smells wonderful, honey," Noin said, putting some food on her plate. She smiled at him and reached across the table to put her hand on his. He smiled back. He almost forgot the disturbing news that Relena had just told him. He romantically watched as Noin drowned a piece of beef in ketchup and put it to her mouth. He took his own piece of meat and pushed it into his mashed potatoes and gravy, then eating it. They finished their meal peacefully, smiling as if they were stuck in perpetual puppy love. Afterwards, they cleared the table together, and Noin washed the dishes as Zechs cared for Valkyrie, who had woken up while they were cleaning up.  
  
"How'd I get such a loud little girl?" Zechs cooed, cradling the baby. Valkyrie giggled, grasping at her father's long platinum blonde hair. Zechs smiled. This was a genuine smile. He was genuinely happy.  
  
Noin came out of the kitchen, smiling. She tucked a loose lock of platinum black hair behind her ear as she walked up to her lover.  
  
"As I recall you saying two and half months ago, 'Lu! I'm not ready to be a dad! The baby can't be born now!' Does that sound familiar?" Noin teased. They exchanged playful glares as Noin collapsed on the soft couch. Zechs slowly sat down next to her.  
  
"I take it all back," He said. Noin put her head against his broad shoulder. Lucretia played with Valkyrie's soft fine hair.  
  
"How was your day?" Noin asked absently.  
  
"Good. And yours?" Zechs replied.  
  
"Boring. What did Relena want to tell you?" Noin asked, looking up into Zechs' blue eyes.  
  
"Well, Lu..." Zechs said, his voice gaining a serious edge, "It turns out that Heero is in love with me."  
  
Noin was quiet for quite a few minutes. Some unnamed emotion reflected in her deep violet eyes.  
  
"What are you going to do?" She asked Zechs.  
  
"I am going tell him, once he reveals his feelings for me, that I respect him, but I do not return the emotion." Zechs said soberly.  
  
"Good. But why wait until he brings it up?" Noin asked, confused.  
  
"He doesn't know that we know. I suppose he's still coming to terms with those emotions. I don't want him to think anything is up." Zechs explained. Noin nodded, then yawned. Her yawn, while small with the quiets noise coming from her mouth, caused Zechs to yawn himself. Zechs' yawn in comparison to Noin's was similar to likening the roar of a lion to the mew of a kitten.   
  
Zechs leaned back and thought to himself. So this was his life now? A beautiful daughter. A wonderful soon-to-be wife. A nice apartment. This was his life? Good. No more death. No more OZ. No more mobile suits. War was replaced by a family. As it should have been a long time ago. And he was happy. 


	5. Chapter 5

Thunder clapped and forks of bright light tore through the sky as the rain began to pour down. Chang Wufei quick walked down the street, grumbling about the injustice of the rain on grocery shopping night. The Chinese man clutched two large, water soaked, paper bags to his chest.  
  
"Oh, what a day!" Wufei shouted as his hair fell out of it's tight binding. His silky black hair blew in his narrow black eyes. Today had not been the best of days for Wufei.  
  
He was approaching the stoop of his building when his eyes noticed a figure sitting on the steps. A woman.  
  
"Huh? Only an onna would be crazy enough to sit out in this type of rain." He joked to himself. Upon getting closer to figure he found that it was Hilde Sphbiker, the girlfriend of his friend and fellow former Gundam pilot, Duo Maxwell. Wufei knew he couldn't let Hilde catch a cold in the pouring rain. He may think women are weak, but he's not cruel.  
  
"What are you doing at my house? In the rain, no less!" Wufei asked Hilde, looking down at her. His black eyes were not contemptuous as they normally would when talking to a woman. They were... warm, and kind. His voice, too, conveyed no sign of anger.  
  
Hilde stood up and ran her tealish eyes over Wufei. He wore a black trenchcoat over his short, yet muscular body. His black hair was tousled and thin strands hung in Wufei's face.  
  
"Duo and I broke up." Hilde said, her voice was purposely saddened. She wanted to sound innocent, victimized. She wanted to mine sympathy out of Wufei. She could see the softness sneaking into his expression.  
  
"You don't have anywhere else to stay?" Wufei asked, compassionately. His mouth formed an equally compassionate smile. Hilde shook her head and her eyebrows arched over her sad eyes.  
  
"Duo kicked me out." Hilde lied, "And, I guess your's were the only place I could go."  
  
Wufei nodded. He handed one of the heavy grocery bags to Hilde as he opened the front door. Wufei, acting oddly as a gentleman, let Hilde in first. Hilde had only been to Wufei's house a few times, and never really paid attention to where exactly he lived. She was thankful she remembered what building he lived in. She waited for Wufei to enter the building.  
  
"Second floor, Hilde," Wufei said, climbing the stairs of the old house that had been converted to three apartments several years ago. Wufei owned, rented, whatever, the entire second floor. Hilde silently followed him up the stairs and stood outside his door as Wufei chatted with a neighbor.  
  
"Mr. Chang?" A small voice called down the stairs. It was the four year old son of Wufei's upstairs neighbor.  
  
"Good evening, Harlan," Wufei said, talking to the little boy, "Do you need something?"  
  
"No, not really, but you got a package today. Its in my house. My mommy said that she didn't want anyone to take it, so she'd just give it to you later." Harlan seemingly said in one breath.  
  
"Alright. Where's your mother now, Harlan?" Wufei asked, concerned.  
  
"She's taking a nap." The little boy said.  
  
"Who's taking care of Helsa and you?" Wufei asked, his thick eyebrows lowering over his eyes. Wufei handed Hilde his house keys, and set his bag of groceries on the ground. He instructed Hilde to take the groceries into the kitchen, and that he'd be down shortly. Wufei then went upstairs to sit with Harlan and Helsa until their mother woke up.  
  
Wufei had met Grace, the kids' mother, when he moved in three years ago. At that time Grace was still married to her husband, Jay. Jay left Grace a year later when he found out she was pregnant with Helsa. Now Grace struggled to raise Harlan and Helsa on her own. Wufei, feeling guilty, tried to help Grace every way he could.  
  
"Wu... Wufei?" Grace asked. She was woman of thirty, or more. She had a natural beauty that was washed away by the years of hardship. Grace had dark hair was worn loose over one shoulder. Her brow furrowed when she saw her friend sitting with her two children. Helsa was on Wufei's lap and Harlan was playing with trucks.  
  
"Good evening, Grace," Wufei smiled up at her, "Harlan told me you were taking a nap, and I just wanted to make sure the kids were alright."  
  
"Why, thank you." Grace smiled back.  
  
Wufei lifted Helsa off his lap and set her on the old couch, so he could stand up. He kissed Helsa's cheek and tousled Harlan's hair as he walked toward the door.  
  
"Good bye kids," Wufei said, waving.  
  
"Bye, Uncle Wuffie," Helsa said, blowing Wufei a kiss.  
  
"G'bye Mr. Chang," Harlan waved back.  
  
Wufei opened the door to leave, when he felt Grace's hand on his arm. He turned around to find Grace's softened green eyes staring into his own deep black eyes.  
  
"Wufei, you got a package today. Here it is." Grace told him. She handed him a rectangular box, about four feet in length.  
  
"Thank you, Grace. Please remember that if you ever need a baby sitter, or anything, you can call on me." Wufei took his package. Graced nodded and saw Wufei out the door. And the Chinese Gundam pilot smiled as he departed the home of one of the strongest onnas he ever met. 


	6. Chapter 6

When he woke up, his pillow was soaked. His violet eyes were swollen and red. Duo struggled to sit up. His bedroom was dark and cold. Duo shivered. As he got dressed in jeans and a sweat shirt he looked at the clock. The red digital numbers blared the time. 9:57 PM. He'd slept for nearly five hours. His guilt and pain had not yet gone away either.  
  
Duo's memory went back four years. Five men stood amongst the rubble of the Brussels Presidential building and the half destroyed remains of the Gundam Wing Zero Custom. Four Gundams, The Heavyarms Kai, Sandrock Kai, Deathscythe Hell Custom, and the Altron "Nataku" Custom, stood, as if guarding their pilots. Soon a fifth and sixth mobile suit landed. The Tallgeese III and a white Taurus suit. Two of the five Gundam pilots did not seemed pleased with the arrival of the Tallgeese III. The large white mobile suit landed on one knee, and it hatch opened. The Taurus, dwarfed beside the massive Tallgeese, merely let it's pilot out. Fire and Wind approached the group of Gundam pilots, but they were only greeted be Quatre Winner. Zechs approached them further, as if he were one of them. Then Zechs made his offer. He told the five young men that if they ever needed something, they could call him. He then gave them numbers of which to reach him. The reactions he got were definitely not what the Lightening Count expected. Heero grunted and turned away, well perhaps that one was expected. Wufei shouted that he didn't need help, and if he did he wouldn't go to an evil snake such as Zechs. Quatre, however, thanked Zechs for his kindness and made Zechs a similar offer. Trowa merely nodded. As for himself... Duo's guilt got a whole lot worse. Duo told Preventer Wind thank you, but on the inside Duo's brain was picturing the situation if Zechs had it his way. Zechs standing in shining armor, his snowy blonde hair flowing behind him. He holds a broadsword to the sky, banishing the problems of the five orphans of the colonies. Evil triumphs over good. Zechs is the hero.  
  
Duo almost began to cry again. This was the man he used to be? And that how he used to treat the man he now loves?  
  
Duo rummaged through his "everything drawer", but could not find the scrap of paper he searched for. Now frantic, he had to find that paper. Duo decided to look in other rooms. There, pinned to a cork board in the kitchen, was a flimsy piece of paper that read "Zechs' Numbers", then "Home", "Work", "Cell", "Car", and "Comm Line for Tallgeese". Zechs thought that out a little too much.  
  
Duo slowly dialed the first three numbers of Zechs' home phone number. His hand was trembling. In fear that he pay hang up, he dialed the last four numbers. He heard Zechs' phone ring. Duo's heart was pounding. The phone rang more. Was Zechs even home? Finally some one picked up. Duo prayed that it wasn't the answering machine.  
  
"Hello?" A low and drowsy voice answered. Duo's heart skipped a beat. His voice was captivating.  
  
"Hi.. uhhh... Zechs?" Duo asked. The boy was surprised to find that he was afraid.  
  
"This is Zechs, to whom am I speaking?" His voice was soft and dull. Duo probably woke him up. The braided pilot silently hoped that Zechs wasn't angry upon such a rude awakening.  
  
"Zechs, it's Duo. Duo Maxwell." He stated softly. Duo tried to repress the tears that were welling up again in his violet eyes.  
  
"Oh, I haven't heard from you in a while. How are you?" Zechs asked. His voice was so kind. So trusting. That was it. Duo blinked and let forth the tears.  
  
"Zechs, you said if I ever needed help," Duo said, crying, "I could come to you."  
  
"I did say that. The offer still stands. What is so terribly wrong Duo?" Zechs sounded worried. The compassion in Zechs' voice just made Duo's heart hurt so much more. This was the voice Duo wanted in his life for all eternity.  
  
"I..." Duo began. His voice faded away and the sound of his crying is all that could be heard.  
  
"Duo, you need some one there. Please tell me your address and I will be there with you as soon as I can." Zechs said, his voice serious and caring at once. Duo gave Zechs his address and repeated it again to make sure he made it to the right house. Then, with some quick good byes, Duo hung up the phone.  
  
And soon enough there was a sturdy knock at the door. Duo wiped his eyes on his sleeve as he got up off his grungy couch to answer the door. He knew his eyes were swollen and red. Duo was embarrassed to be seen like this, but he knew Zechs would insist on helping him. And isn't that what he really wanted anyway?  
  
"Hi, Zechs," Duo said weakly. He let the tall blonde man into his dilapidated apartment. Duo could see the look of disgust on Zechs' face.  
  
"You live here? Duo, why do you let yourself live like this?" Zechs scolded. Duo blushed. He took a deep breath. Zechs turned to face Duo. The younger man was breathing quickly, and was attempting to not make eye contact with the other man. But finally the icy blue eyes locked on to the deep violet ones. Before Duo knew what was going on, he was wrapped in Zechs' arms.  
  
"Now Duo," Zechs said softly, "Tell me what is wrong."  
  
Duo sighed. He was in the embrace of the man he loved. He felt safe. And now, this was his chance to pour his heart out to Zechs, and tell Zechs everything, and how much he meant to Duo. So, why was he so afraid of this? 


	7. Chapter 7

Wufei had just finished putting his groceries away. Most of the boxes were a bit wet, but they would dry. He looked over at his house guest. Hilde sat on Wufei's couch paging through "The Dragon's Blade", a magazine that featured the newest in Oriental swords and fighting techniques.  
  
"Now, onna, as my house guest you are entitled to three aspects of my hospitality. A meal, a bed, and a bath." Wufei said. Hilde's teal eyes glanced over at Wufei.  
  
"I gave myself a tour of your house while you were out. I noticed that you don't have a spare bedroom." Hilde said, trying to hide the excitement in her voice. She was right. Wufei never saw the need for a spare bed room, and had converted it into a training room.  
  
"You, onna, will take my bed. I will sleep on the sofa." Wufei said, walking into the sitting room.  
  
"Aww, no. I don't want to be a burden. I'll take the couch." Hilde told him as she set the magazine down. Wufei tried to argue, but Hilde insisted. He did not know of, nor did he have any way of knowing that Hilde was brewing up a plan in her mind.  
  
"Stubborn onna." Wufei muttered. He stalked into his bedroom, getting out a set of silk pajamas and a towel. He took them to Hilde.  
  
"Here. You may bathe now. I am preparing myself for bed." Wufei said. He then went back to his room. Wufei stripped to his undershorts and undershirt. He tied his hair back into it's tight ponytail and looked at himself in his carved wood mirror. He blinked once then when back to getting dressed. He pulled on his black silk pants and tied them with a white belt. He then shut off his lights and climbed into bed.  
  
As the Chinese man tried to fall asleep he heard the sounds of the house. The water running in the bathroom. The noises of Grace putting her children to bed upstairs. The commotion of the couple downstairs, doing only God knows what. Crickets were deafened by cars rushing down the street outside. Rain fell from the sky outside. Something was keeping Wufei awake. The water stopped. He could hear the bathroom door open and Hilde walk down the hall way to the living room. Everything was mostly silent. Wufei found that he could still not fall asleep. He turned over with his back to his bedroom door. Wufei heard footsteps with in his own home. The bedroom door creaked open. More footsteps as the person approached Wufei's bed. Wufei then felt the pressure of some one climbing in his bed along beside him.  
  
"Wufei?" Hilde asked, "Your couch is really uncomfortable, so could I share your bed tonight?"  
  
"Fine, onna, just let me sleep" Wufei grumbled.  
  
"Thank you," She whispered, crawling beneath the blankets. 


	8. Chapter 8

Lucretia awoke in the middle of the night. She rolled over to put her arms around her lover but found that Zechs wasn't there. Fear washed over Noin. Zechs should have been there. She looked at the digital bed side clock. The glowing green numbers read 12:49 AM.  
  
"It's after midnight," Noin said aloud, "Where could he have gone?"  
  
A possibility occurred to her. Perhaps Valkyrie had woken up, and Zechs took the baby out for a drive to soothe her back to sleep. Or maybe Zechs had fallen asleep on the couch. Noin rolled out of bed and groped around in the darkness for her robe. She found Zechs' first, and that would do. Lucretia slipped her fiancé's grey robe on over her nightie and crept out of the room.  
  
Zechs was not sleeping on the couch. And Valkyrie was still in her crib. Noin walked back into living room. She sat on the couch and reached for the phone, about to call Zechs' cell phone. She stopped there was a note on the coffee table.  
  
"Lu, I'm sorry I'm not here. Duo Maxwell called. He sounded to be in bad shape. I went to comfort him. I'll be back as soon as I can. Love, Zechs."  
  
"At least he left a note," She said quietly to herself. Noin set the note back on the table. Lucretia leaned back on the couch, relaxing for a few minutes. But then... It started with a little noises, then grew into a few broken grunts and moans. Before Noin could even get up, Valkyrie was crying. Noin wondered outloud if Zechs was an "up-all-night-crying" baby when he was little.  
  
"Mommy's coming, Valkyrie," Noin cooed, walking into her daughter's nursery. As she picked up the baby she heard the phone ring. Lucretia muttered about the timing, and some one calling so late at night. She let the machine get it.  
  
"You've reached the home of Zechs Marquise and Lucretia Noin. We are not available to receive your call right now. Please leave your message after the tone," The voice recording said in a slightly distorted version of Noin's voice. Lucretia heard the tone and waited for the message while she changed Valkyrie's diaper.  
  
"I figured I'd get the machine. Lu, I'm still at Duo's. If you haven't seen it yet, there's a note on the table. I'm sorry about leaving abruptly. I will try to be home as soon as I can. I love you." Zechs always left long winded messages. Noin glanced at the answering machine as she walked into the kitchen. The new message light blinked the number one. She didn't bother playing the message since she heard it anyway. Noin searched the cabinets with one hand, holding Valkyrie, with the other. She pulled down a can of baby formula. Noin prepared the baby's midnight snack, talking incoherantly to Valkyrie. Noin looked over at the front door. She thought she heard it unlocking. But no one was there. Lucretia sighed.  
  
"C'mon honey," Noin said to Valkyrie, "Let's sit down."  
  
Noin sat on the couch with her daughter, feeding her the ambiguious brand of baby formula. She fed the baby some, burped her, fed her again, burped her. Noin yawned and looked at the clock. Now it was nearly two-thirty in the morning. Where was Zechs? 


	9. Chapter 9

Zechs sat on the grungy couch, still holding Duo to his chest. The boy just didn't want to be let go. Zechs had been here for quite some time, and still did not know what was troubling Duo.  
  
"Please Duo," Zechs said softly, "If you do not tell me what is wrong, I cannot begin to help you."  
  
Duo looked up at the older man, taking his face from Zechs' chest. The braided pilot was once again lost in the beautiful face of the man that he had set his heart on. Zechs looked so much like the Bibical description of an angel.  
  
"Ze... Zechs?" Duo's voice wavered.  
  
"Yes, Duo?" Zechs' voice was comforting, and the blonde man gently wiped Duo's tears from the young man's cheeks. Duo place his hand over Zechs'.  
  
"I have secret to tell you," Duo said. Guilt was heavy in Duo's voice. The tears threatened to come once again.  
  
"If you are comfortable with telling me your secret, then go ahead." Zechs said so simply. A small hint of an encouraging smile passed across Zechs' pale skinned face.  
  
"I'm gay," Duo whispered. He looked away from Zechs. The violet eyed pilot expected Zechs to have the same reaction as Hilde. To Duo's surprise, the only movement Zechs' body made was breathing and blinking.  
  
"That is nothing to be ashamed of, Duo" Zechs told him. Duo's spirts lifted slightly. Then the other secret surfaced in Duo's mind.  
  
"Tell him," a voice in Duo's mind said.  
  
"No, he'll hate you," said another.  
  
"You should tell him how you feel!" the first encouraged Duo.  
  
"This is a secret for a reason, Duo." the second scolded.  
  
"You are gonna be guilty forever if you don't," the first voice told Duo.  
  
"You are gonna regret it forever if you do," the second voice argued back.  
  
Moments more passed of the voices battling in Duo's head. Finally, the first voice won over the second, and Duo lost control of himself. His body straightened, and Duo sat up on his knees, leveling his face with Zechs'. He took in Zechs' ice blue eyes, the blonde curtain of hair slightly obstructing Zechs' vision, his sharp nose, and handsome smile. With out know what he was doing, Duo took Zechs' doll-like face in his rough and worked hands. Duo closed his violet eyes and indulged in his dream. He quickly rushed his lips to Zechs', but slowly kissed him. As Duo's mouth lingered on Zechs' mouth, he took his hand from Zechs' face and ran his hand down the older man's muscular arm and took his hand. But then he noticed something that he had noticed before. Duo felt some thing cold against his palm.  
  
That's when the fledgling paradise crumbled and broke. Duo took his face away from the solemn face of Zechs. The violet eyes looked down at Zechs hand being held in his own. The cold metal that was pressing against Duo's palm, Zechs wore a silver engagement ring on his left ring finger. Duo could hear Zechs swallow nervously. Zechs' hand slipped out of Duo's and he looked away.  
  
"Duo," Zechs' voice was deeper now, "I realize that you must care very deeply for me. However, I am engaged to Lucretia. She and I have an infant daughter. I'm sorry, Duo, I cannot return your emotions."  
  
Tears rolled down Zechs' cheeks, staining his perfect skin. Duo had opened up to Zechs. Duo had shared with Zechs his deepest secret. And how did Zechs treat him? He had broken the poor younger man's heart.  
  
"I didn't know, Zechs." Duo's voice was solemn and threated to break down and cry. The boy stood and moved away from the couch. He dared not look in Zechs' direction. He had told Zechs how he felt, and got burned.  
  
"You can go. I'm sure Noin is worried about you. I'm sorry. Very sorry. Please, just go." Duo barely choked out.  
  
Zechs wanted to object, but better though against it. He rose from the couch and collected his coat and scarf.  
  
"Good bye, Duo," Zechs said, wiping the tears away from his own face now, "Please do not hesitate to call if you need me again."  
  
Duo was alone once again as Zechs let himself out. The apartment was quiet. The temperature seemed to drop in the room. Duo shivered and sighed as he heard Zechs' car start. The sound of the car driving away stuck in Duo's mind. Like a metaphor. He had just driven the man he loved out of his life. And now Zechs was gone. 


	10. Chapter 10

Wufei awoke to feel a soft pair of hands working over his shoulders. He continued to pretend sleeping, as not to tip Hilde (if it was indeed Hilde) off. The delicate hands slipped down his back and around his sides. The hands worked at untying the knot in his belt. Still Wufei remained in his little charade. His white belt was pulled from his waist, his pants loosened around his hips. Wufei felt breathing on his neck. It became harder to pretend that he was still unconscious.  
  
"Oh... Wufei," Hilde sighed, "I hope you wake up soon."  
  
Hilde slipped her hands deftly beneath Wufei's pants and beneath his undershorts. Rythmically she massaged the area beneath Wufei's stomach but below his stomach. Wufei let a small moan escape his lips.  
  
"Oh, does Wufei like having tummy rubbed?" Hilde cooed, tickling Wufei's neck with her breath.  
  
Wufei's mind quickly came up with a plan to stifle Hilde's plan. He rolled over to face her and put his arms around her. Hilde seemed to be playing into Wufei's plot. She ran her hands over Wufei's back. He moaned again.  
  
"Oh, Sally," Wufei called out as if he were dreaming, "More! More, you weak onna!"  
  
Hilde took her hands off of Wufei. She tried to get away from him, but Wufei held her tighter. Now it was Hilde that could feel Wufei's warm breath on her neck.  
  
"You aren't going any where you naughty little dragonness." Wufei growled, still acting as if he were asleep.  
  
Hilde finally broke out of Wufei's sturdy grip. and crawled out of the bed. She replaced herself with a pillow in Wufei's arms. Hilde quickly left the room, leaving Wufei to have his fantasy.  
  
Once Hilde was out of the room Wufei put the pillow back and sat up in his bed. His narrow black eyes were itching. He had left his contacts in again. He glanced at his clock. Five twenty-four AM. It was nearly time to get up any way. Wufei climbed from his bed and let his loose pants fall to the floor. He stepped out of the pile of silk, walking to the small table in his room. He removed the contacts from his eyes and took his large wire frame glasses from their case. He heard Hilde trying to settle into the couch.   
  
"Deceptive onna," Wufei said, getting dressed. Wufei prided himeself in outwitting her. She was only an onna. He was a dragon. 


	11. Chapter 11

Heero walked around the block again. It was raining cats and dogs. He didn't even live on this block. But Zechs did. This was the tenth time Heero had passed Zechs' apartment building. Zechs' car was not parked out front. Heero raised his his eyebrows in concern. It was nearly five in the morning and Zechs was not home.  
  
Then, as if it happend because Heero wished it so, Zechs' car pulled up in his "spot." And like he was in a transe, Zechs got out of his car and blankly walked into the building. He did not even notice Heero standing there. Heero walked in after Zechs.  
  
"Zechs?" Heero called out. He was lucky enough to catch Zechs waiting for an elevator. The blonde man looked over at Heero. Zechs had been crying. His icy eyes were red and irritated.  
  
"What are you doing out so late?" Heero asked Zechs. Heero stayed a good distance away from Zechs.  
  
"I had a personal matter to attend to. Concerning a friend of yours." Zechs said. There was an edge in his voice. Pain, perhaps?  
  
"Oh. Who?" Heero examined Zechs from a distance. The elevator arrived and Zechs stepped inside, and Heero rushed to get inside also. Heero now stood three feet from the tall blonde.  
  
"Your friend, Duo Maxwell, was in love with me." Zechs said, the pain now evident in his voice. Zechs did not look Heero in the eye.  
  
"Was? He's not anymore? What'd you do, drive him away with that cheerful personality of yours?" Heero joked. A little too late he realized what he had said.  
  
The elevator reached Zechs' floor. The solemn Zechs stepped out and into the hallway. Heero reluctantly followed. Zechs was about to unlock his apartment door when Heero spoke to him again.  
  
"I guess this is a bad time to tell you, but," Heero began, "I guess I love you also."  
  
Zechs' glare was icy. Colder than the entire continent of Antartica. His face displayed no emotion. His lips formed a frown.  
  
"I already knew. Relena told me. Heero, you know I am engaged to Lu. You were there at Valkyrie's coming home. You know how much they both mean to me. Besides them I love only one other person. My sister. I respect you greatly Heero, and you are one of my closest friends, but I do not love you." Zechs stated coldly.  
  
"Zechs, you must be really tired and stressed. I understand. Call me when you have the time. Please. I hope you change your mind. Or at least your tone," Heero said in his monotonous voice. With that understanding both men went home. For Zechs it was a matter of two feet. For Heero, a walk of two miles. But he didn't mind the rain. Rain was thinking weather. And he needed to think. Desperately, he needed to think. 


End file.
